There was a day I could dream that we were all equal. That the color of your skin, or your country of origin, or if you are male or female, gay or trans, doesn’t matter. In my dream, religion is of no concern, or lack of it. If you lived your life as well as you possibly could, as compassionate and honest as you could, that was good enough.
But now I have a head full of doubt.
I always thought our justice system was second to none. We made the bad guy pay, which makes the rest of us feel safer. Our motto has always been, “crime doesn’t pay.” Even if you wear a white shirt to work. But when I look inside prisons, that doesn’t seem to be the case. A lot of Black and Mexican faces. Few whites. The Center for Wrongful Convictions, from Northwestern Law School, has found more than 40 cases where men, women, and children, were wrongfully convicted.
Now I have a head full of doubt.
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I thought politicians were to be public servants. Public servants that we elect to serve our best interests in city, state, and federal government. That these elected people represent all of us, not just the chosen few. That is a good representation of what a fair and just government should be. I have lived my 75 years with that rather pleasant notion.
But now I have a head full of doubt.
I have always thought “the neighborhood” is our best defense against loneliness, hunger, homelessness, mental-physical health. People looking out for one another. Taking an interest in one another. After years of trying to convince people that our neighborhoods are our best bets in making our lives and our neighbors lives better.
My head is full of doubt.
I never thought that anyone as bad as Donald Trump could become president. I didn’t think that would be possible. Or an 80+ year old man. I have nothing against being 80. It just seems a little old to be president. It is not hard to understand that the job of the presidency is tremendously stressful. Look at the toll it has taken on some of our more recent younger presidents. Now we have the prospect of a would be criminal, and an 80-year-old man trying to lead us the next four years.
That prospect leaves me with a head full of doubt.
We probably are averaging about one mass shooting per week. This is something relatively new. It has surfaced since we decided everyone has the right to own a gun. Or maybe 5 or 10 guns. Does this make any sense? Even if we had the right, why would we take it, knowing what we do? The NRA and gun manufactures are wrong. Our politicians are wrong, scared to do anything about it. They value being re-elected and profits above lives.
The whole thing leaves me with a head full of doubt.
After all the scientific evidence that the Earth is getting dangerously warmer, people still deny it. They want to write if off as just one of those things that happens periodically. They don’t seem to care what kind of hardships our children’s children will face in the future.
It leaves me with a head full of doubt.
Life is hard. We look for jobs that can get us by. We hope that our children and their children will have lives as good as many of us have had. We hope and pray that things will be alright. That somehow, just in the nick of time, we will come to our senses.
But I have a head full of doubt.
Bruce Weik, was a longtime columnist for The Zephyr, and is co-creator of Many Paths Galesburg since 2019.
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